ShortFics and Bits
by ClassicalTorture
Summary: Sherlock and Watson conversation, done through Omegle with strangers
1. Chapter 1

**You:** Watson, so nice to see you

**Stranger:** Hello Holmes. I assume this is important?

**You:** Well I would like to know where you have been for the last three days?

**Stranger:** Look, just because you've come up with another ridiculous case, doesn't mean that I should jump in headfirst with you

**You:** Watson!

**You:** But Anderson would be as helpless as a newborn without me

**You:** And I need my blogger!

**Stranger:** Blast it Holmes! But this is the last time, understood?

**You:** Mmm...ofcourse...

**You:** You never did answer my question though

**You:** Were you with that Sarah girl again?

**You:** *shudder*

**Stranger:** If you must know, yes, I've been seeing her.

**Stranger:** She is different you know

**You:** You are of course aware of her...nightly activities?

**Stranger:** Naturally. Though I do prefer that not come up in conversation. Or be your only impression of het

**Stranger:** her*

**You:** Oh? So you approve of her servicing patients after hours behind the clinic?

**You:** How very open-minded of you

**Stranger:** Hardly, but I don't own the poor girl and she needs the money

**You:** Well that is a very modern view

**You:** She hadn;t brought marriage up in a conversation yet then?

**You:** You, being her soldier in a shining tank

**You:** Taking her away from the streets

**Stranger:** No, I don't think she's exactly ready to settle down

**You:** Hm *smirk*

**Stranger:** And it really is superb that you find this all so amusing

**You:** What if I told you I caught a whiff of a very familiar aftershave on the gir last time I was here

**You:** Familiar from a certain brain-damaged policeman

**Stranger:** Not him again

**You:** Goes by the name of Anderson

**You:** Yes him!

**Stranger:** Yes, you've mentioned him. Holmes, what have you gotten yourself into this time?

**You:** John you can;t keep relations with someone involved with Anderson!

**You:** It's just unsanitary

**You:** You don't know where he's been'

**You:** I mean, I know, but you don;t

**Stranger:** Very well. Though you owe me for this one

**You:** Well why should I?

**You:** Its only healthy

**You:** I need my blogger to be available at all times, and not busy with an Anderson infested harlot

**Stranger:** Yes, but you've also convinced me to leave yet another girl.

**You:** I pride myself on keeping you pure

**You:** Or as pure as Three-Continents Watson can be by now

**Stranger:** And on scaring away anyone who shows any interest in me

**You:** I care for your purity lets just say

**You:** Well I can;t very well let you gallivate into the sunset ith someone now can I?

**Stranger:** Or just for making me miserable. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're jealous

**You:** Have I ever denied such notion?

**You:** Your time is mine, Your blogging skills are mine, we have a skull together

**You:** think of the skull John

**Stranger:** No, but you're hardly the type to admit it either

**You:** He would be ever so sad if Daddy left us

**Stranger:** Yes, yes, I know. Alright, Holmes. We'll do it your way.

**You:** Ofcourse we will *satisfied smirk*

**Stranger:** *rolls my eyes and grabs my bag*

**You:** Tell me John what do you know of Beauty pageants?

**Stranger:** Not very much. My mother never entered me in one.

**You:** Oh don;t be sad

**You:** Although I'm sure your sheer sweater-covered cuteness would have landed you first place

**Stranger:** Yes alright, but what's the point here?

**You:** A beauty queen runner up was murdered in her room yesterday night, and the police needs help investigating who did it

**You:** So

**You:** We are going to infiltrate the pageant

**Stranger:** You must be out of your mind. Neither of us is a woman!

**You:** Well look at me John! I have the hips and cheekbones for it

**Stranger:** No. No. No, Holmes, this is a bad idea

**You:** All we need is a trip to a stylist, I'm sure MYcroft can arrange for one

**You:** And you can be my husband, there to cheer and ward off perverts

**You:** I shall also need duct tape...lota and lots of duct tape


	2. Chapter 2

**You:** Hello Sherlock MH

**Stranger:** What do you want, Mycroft? -SH

**You:** Oh is that the way to talk to your favorite brother Sherry? MH

**Stranger:** Favorite brother? No. More like only brother. -SH

**You:** I really should have let father name you Sherrinford

**You:** MH

**You:** Regardless, you did not think that this little privacy chat will not let me find you? MH

**Stranger:** Go away, Mycroft. Go sleep with that Anthea woman or eat some cake or something.-SH

**You:** Why Sherry, ehat would Mommy say to such behavior/ MH

**You:** You know it upsets her so. MH

**Stranger:** I honestly don't care what mummy would say. By the way, I see your diet has had no effect whatsoever on you. -SH

**You:** And her name is Penelope now. MH

**You:** My diet is none of your business! MH

**You:** And how is that nicotine addiction of yours? Still in full swing? MH

**Stranger:** Shutup, i'm positively fine. -SH

**You:** Oh indeed? MH

**Stranger:** Yes. Sod off, Mycroft. You

**You:** Then why did I get a call from John today? MH

**Stranger:** No. I won't say it. -SH

**You:** You know he sounded very concerned Sherlock. MH

**Stranger:** Oh? John called you? What about? -SH

**You:** You know what Sherry! You really should keep your private matters private. Especially when John has company over. MH


End file.
